My Very Enthusiastic Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets!

-------- MAGNIFICENT SEQUEL TO "priyankaissoawesomeeverybodyworshipsher is a word"--------

This was the very first mnemonic i learnt, to those of you who haven't heard of it, this ones to remember the arrangement of the Nine planets in our Solar system (closest to the sun n outwards).
Now that i am in the era of big scary words n information i need to remember or else somebody dies (everytime a prof said it in class, i'd hear one of the Disney's wicked witches laugh....brrrr) Anyway since im in the medical field ill let u in on how we remember our stuff.... Mind you most of them are textbook, Some may seem highly perverted but well 'happy realisation people' that apparently whats been working over the years! :)

P.S: For the weak hearted, can-be-scandalized lot, Don't judge the medical guys alright, we need to make up stuff like this for the amount n the precision with which we need to remember it all :)


My first few classes of Anatomy were dreadful.. one PG would walk in holding a tiny bone and he'd point out to tiny lines n ridges n holes on the bone which some evil genius actually named.... i still remember the 3rd class on 'Humerus' was anything but HUMOUROUS, cos we'd reached our frustration thresholds by then n were almost on the verge of pulling our hair out.....
Thats when we decided to make up stuff (if there wasn already one) that helped us remember those irregularities and the other big words that'd come our way then on...

Suprascapular notch............Superman's Torch

Subscapular Ridge......... Subrahmaniam's Fridge

Anastomosis........... An ass and two more tits (used to be dicks.. but then tits sounded better)

Triamcinolone....... Try Amy, sin alone

Amantidine...... A man to dine

Tranylcypromine...... try Neil see Praveen (kinda disgusting cos we had a neil and a praveen in class.. both of which we dint 'try'...... by WE i mean my immediate circle of friends)

Floxacycline..... Fucks her cycling. (obv the guys in class came up with it...humph men!)

Axillary artery branches (Sup thoracic, Thoraco-acr, Lat th, sub scap, Ant circumflex hum, Post C H)................ Screw The Lawyer Save A Patient.

Throacic duct btw Azygous n esophagous.......... A duck btw 2 gooses.

Teres Major, Latissimus Dorsi, Pectoralis Major (thats how they're attached the arm bone)........ Lady btw Two Majors.

Gracilis between Semitendinosus and Semimembranosus........... Girl btw two Surgeons

Brachial Plexus branches (lat to med) "Musculocutaneous, Axillary, Radial, Median, Ulnar nerves"........... My Aunt Raped My Uncle.

Penis Autonomic innervation action............. Parasympathetic points it up, Sympathetic spurts it out.

Spermatic Cord contents (Pampiniform plexus, ductus deferens, cremasteric artery....ok do u really wanna knw it all?)............ Piles Don't Contribute To A Good Sex Life.

Kreb's cycle components (Citrate, Isocitrate, alphaKetoglutarate, Succinate co-a, Succinate, Fumarate, Malate, Oxaloacetate)............ Can I Keep Selling Sex For Money, Officer? (saved me in first yr... i hated biochemistry)

Impalpable Apex Beat (differential diagnosis).......... DOPE (dextrocardia, obesity, pericarditis/pneumothorax, emphysema, scoliosis/ sinus inversus)

Heart Attack therapy............. "O BATMAN!!!" (oxygen, beta blocker, ASA, thrombolitics, morphine, ACE inhib, Nitrocycline)

Venturi Mask colours n their corresponding Oxygen delivery capacity:
blue (24%), white(28%), orange(31%), yellow(35%), red(40%), green(60%)
.................Boys Want Only Young Rowdy Girls (was my final university Viva question... :D)

Placenta crossing diseases (TOxoplasma, Rubella, CMV, Herpes simple/zoster/HepB,C,E; Syphillis)............TORCHeS...

Cerebellar deep nuclei (dentate, emboliform, globose, fastigial)............ Do Eat Good Food.

the 12 cranial nerves (olfactory, optic, occulomotor, trochlear, trigeminal, abducens, facial, Vestibulo-cochlear, glossoph, vagus, sp.Accessory, hypoglossal)............... "Oooh OOooh ooh To Touch And Feel Virgin Girl's Vagina and Hymen" ..................[personally i think this is disgusting but we all needed this to remember the blasted nerves :(]

Crutch Training (walking on stairs, which leg to put first)........... Good to heaven (ascending) and Bad to Hell (descending).

Carpal bones (lat to med...Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hammate).......... She Looks Too Pretty Try To Catch Her.... ofcourse some of us prefer "Scared Lovers Try Positions That They Cannot Handle" :D

Ok now these two very important:
What to do when one faints............. "If face is red lift the head, if face is pale lift the tail"


Stroke symptom recognition (self check...very imp...remember).... FAST

F -> Face (uneven smile, droop, vision)
A-> Arms n legs (heaviness***, numbness...esp if its on one side of the body only)
S-> Speech (slurred, inability to talk.. tongue feels heavy)
T-> Time (RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL!)


Ok alright..Phew! that was like 4 years of my life in one post..... ofcourse there r many more, most i can only recollect the mnemonics now not the stuff inside :P (Hey anybody know what JHANDU BAM stands for??? its gotten something to do with Failure of wound healing i think..)

'priyankaissoawesomeeverybodyworshipsher' IS a word!

I semi-hated being a kid.... and i'm talking about the parts where i felt the rest of the world was so much cooler than me......
Like when me n my brother would study together i'd listen to him use words like "catalyst" and "molecule" (i knew it meant something small cos when we'd fight about me being small and id tell him he was smaller cos i dint have a comeback he'd say 'you're molecule small' followed by 'you're atom small') while all i got was sad words like "hand" and "soil" and when i was lucky "independance"....
i tried being as "smart" as he was by evesdropping, like at the age of 4 i knew some guy,Alexander, invented the telephone, i also thought (and was so damn sure) that they called him 'Alexander the Great' cos he not only conquered the world but also had time to invent telephones (at the age of 7 i learnt they were 2 very different people... i felt like my whole life was a big lie :P)

Anyway one day during a particular science class on plants and the environment i felt like i was finally there..... the word 'OXYGEN' came into my world, i was thinkin (woooooooooooooooow :O... this one not only has a Y but also an X!!! sounds funky too), i had barely finished enjoying that thought 'CARBON-DI-OXIDE' clawed its way in ("Hyphens........a word so big it needs HYPHENS!!!! i think i jus got shot n went straight to heaven").... then came "PHOTOSYNTHESIS"...

By the time we reached "CARBON-MONO-OXIDE" I was high....

Ofcourse then on the hits kept coming n i began to wish my "hand"-and-"soil"-days would return :(

Now i live with words like "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis ".

THE PULLEY

When God at first made man,
Having a glasse of blessings standing by;
Let us (said he) poure on him all we can:
Let the worlds riches, which dispersed lie,
Contract into a span.

So strength first made a way;
Then beautie flow’d, then wisdome, honour, pleasure:
When almost all was out, God made a stay,
Perceiving that alone of all his treasure
Rest in the bottome lay.

For if I should (said he)
Bestow this jewell also on my creature,
He would adore my gifts in stead of me,
And rest in Nature, not the God of Nature:
So both should losers be.

Yet let him keep the rest,
But keep them with repining restlesnesse:
Let him be rich and wearie, that at least,
If goodnesse leade him not, yet wearinesse
May tosse him to my breast.

----- George Herbert.

I've always loved this poem, ever since my English teacher spent one afternoon telling us about it (even though it wasn in our textbooks... State board you see, lame English books... it shows)

Why am i even talking about this work of art now??

Im not a strong believer in God as a super-natural being who'l smite us if we don't kiss his perfect ass, neither am i an Atheist who doesn give a damn about my actions n conscience... I have a whole different perspective when it comes to Religion n God which i'll tell you about in another post probably...

But right now, at this very moment, ten days before my GRE... i do feel That Restlessness... N i knw the Big guy is one Sadist who'l never pour the 'Rest' on me so im jus gonna whine about it to you...
(see that Mr.God? yeah thats what i called ya.. a SADIST :P :)..............., before u put on your boxing gloves consider the fact that i also gave you a "perfect ass"... For the record: im only sucking up to you cos i have an exam coming up... nothing more nothing less)

following material is whole-ly Non vegetarian... Reader discretion is advised.

This post is dedicated to all my vegetarian buddies who cringe at my meal (which is very rude btw). Sorry to disappoint ya'll :P but thats what this post is all about.. me being a non vegetarian (the picture will make sense in time.. you'l see)... cos thats how i was born n brought up... and thats how i live with myself... 8)

Ok relax im not some carnivore who kills every object with a heartbeat or needs meat on the table every meal of the day... But I'm never (as of today atleast) turning vegetarian for i know for a fact eventually after about a couple of months (im optimistic) i will crave for a juicy KFC burger or sizzling fried fish and since i'm a foodie i assure you i WILL get my hands on it by hook or by cook :P ... so why bother converting? :)

Besides whoever says Vegetarianism is what Mr.God wanted us all to practice, huh?? Moses did not say "LET MY CHICKENS GO!!" now did he?
You know what i think (you've read this far so obviously u do wanna know)... i think God said "Alrighty then Mankind... heres what u fellas gotta do.. see those hairy things running around all over the place (pointing at the lions)... u gotta find a way to chase them n feed yourselves".... (what? its a food chain maaaaaan: grass -> deer -> lion -> man -> grass... The Circle of Life... see i'm fair, i blame us non-veggies too for choosing cluck-cluck over ROAR)

Now Man-not-so-kind tried it... theres proof, all those cavemen drawings...finally man gave up, cos well he had technical difficulties, n fed on the colourful fruits dangling on the branches.... now thats exactly how it happened...


Adam pissed Mr.God off by munching on the Apple, had he jus eaten the Snake you think Mr.God would've bothered??!?! (ever wondered why Adam eating the apple is called the 'Original Sin' :P)..... i rest my case.

Moral Of the story: Relax its not "Hard work good..lazy bad".. I'm not THAT person.

ok lets go again, Moral of the story: next time u're dining with a non-vegetarian, don't make him feel like a sinner cos u never know whos in the wrong lane... :P