Two hearts, One soul......

Now im back home from Manipal, "totally lost dunno what to do" kinda situation... parents r dozing, da cable isn't working, im too lazy to do any outdoor activity at the moment n nobodys online.... At times like these i relive good ol' days... okay so im still mentally in Manipal, i tried not to believe it but i ws just caught sleep talkin.. STOP THINKIN :P, i was only taking patient history in my sleep.. was dreaming about some housewife with heel pain... now it makes sense to me, cos everytime i asked her a question i wudn get a reply :S... i figured she was Mallu... oh damn! i hope i wasn acting it all out in my dream like i usually do with Mallu cases..parents will think im possessed :O

Okay okay deviating from the topic, come back now.. i jus realised im never gonna get patients who're cranky housewives with 15 family members or farmers hit by their ox/fallen off their tractors... all ill have to deal with will probably be software engineers who need posture correction, overworked working women who'l have no time to bitch abt their daughter-in-laws to me (those cranky housewives.. awesome fun!)..

Anyway im here to tell you about one of my coolest patients during my surgery posting... that ajja was hilarious.. he used to make my day :)....so the situation was i had jus returned from home after a long vacation and a crazy bus journey, reached back just in time to grab my lab coat n rush to work.. i was so hungry, sleepy n tired n had all new patients cos i was gone on a long leave... i was thankful cos wasn really feeling too chatty that day.

So i enter the L3 ward, walk up to the skinny old man who was a post-op case of stomach carcinoma. I start giving him the usual "deergha shwasa tokolli ajja.. mooginda tokoli baayinda bidi" (take a deep breath.. inhale from ur nose, exhale from ur mouth) command... Little did i know this ajja was the talkative sorts.. he started telling me about his cancer and how the doctors removed a part of his stomach n how his "tube" hole (oesophageal opening) has become small so he cant eat anything big n solid..... i "hmmm"ed him n continued... finally he was so frustrated he stopped me n said "Why r u makin me do these exercises??!!".. i said "see u're taking really small breaths, u need to take in more air so u can get well soon"... he looked at me like i'm some idiot n said "but i told u!!! my hole is small!! i cant take big things inside!"........ we looked at each other for about 10 seconds.. me trying to figure out what was his problem..... him, i dunno probably wondering which planet i was from.... I finally realized may be i knew what the whole misunderstanding was all about.

i sat down next to him n said "ajja there r 2 bags in your body.. one for ur food, one for ur air... 2 tubes carry those 2 things separately... ur food hole is small.. ur air hole is still big.. so breathe".... he looks at me like i told him Man was a Monkey (shudve tried that) or that the Earth wasn the centre of the universe... he looks at his chest which is pretty much only ribs n says "LOOK AT ME! im so small.. I HAVE 2 BAGS.. AND 2 TUBES!! where is there place for it to fit in here??" (i was so tempted to tell him he had 2 bags for air alone, but nah!) Anyway he believed me cos well i had the white coat on... so that was Biology class 1.

Next day i go meet him-treat him, we're best buddies by now... we go through the whole routine of exercises n chit-chat about which patient/nurse/doctor did what to which patient/nurse/doctor and when i was auscultating him post treatment he asks me "what do u hear through the stethoscope??"... i was flabbergasted hearing him use the word "stethoscope" and not "steth" as most doctors around say it... I tell him doctors use it to listen to the air you breathe in and ur heart beat..... he then asks me "why do u hold my wrist then??"... im tellin ya that ajja was so curious n smart if he had the opportunity he'd be a famous doctor today.... I say "to feel for ur heart beat (im not so good at the medical kannada terminology so i figured heart beat, pulse beat... whats the big difference)"....
His eyes got bigger than his face when he said the next few words...... "NOW U TELL ME I HAVE 2 HEARTS!! :O :O" :D :D :D well took me a while to explain the anatomy n physiology but he finally got it... :D

:( shucks.. i miss the hospital!